Oh, John. John, John, John. Why? Why are you doing this? Who hurt you as a child? What made you this way? I am genuinely curious if you were either brutally beaten as a child, or spoiled rotten and never touched. I can’t tell which, all I know is that something is terribly wrong with you. Looking at your face genuinely gives me immediate crippling depression. How you acquired your platform, which Deity you made a blood sacrifice to, I may never know.
I do know one thing however, I am actually starting to enjoy debunking your lies. As a former fan of yours, hopefully, I can encourage others to avoid slipping into televisions darkest, coldest and loneliest sewer pit of lies, “Last Week Tonight with Cuck Oliver”. I mean John Oliver, sorry. Season 4: Episode 2, the British autistic parrot squawks again, lets get started folks.