America First: Scrap DACA.

*CaliConservative and CaliLiberal are sitting in front of the TV, FOX News is on.*

Why am I even watching this racist fake news network? I call it faux news, get it CaliConservative? Because it’s fake!

I’ve heard that one before, plenty of times actually, stop acting like you invented that term.

Nuh-uh you never heard that term before, faux news, I just invented it, I am clever.

No you aren’t–

Excuse me, did you triple major at Berkeley?

Well no–

Then obviously I am more clever than you.

Can you explain to me how a triple-major in Gender Studies, LGBT Studies and umm what was the other one?

Social Welfare.

Yeah that, explain to me how those pointless majors made you clever?

Well some of the people in my class went on to be writers for the HuffingtonPost so my majors are obviously worth something.

Yeah they were worth about $150K in student loans.


Now shut up I am trying to watch the news.

You are lucky I have been sitting here quietly watching this racist wingnut Christian propaganda.

You aren’t being quiet you have been doing nothing but getting triggered this entire time.

Well can you blame me? I can’t just sit here quietly while all these lies are being spread.

How do you know they are lying when you aren’t even listening?!

Because actual smart people like John Oliver and Trevor Noah shred FOX news and Drumpf every week. They tell me FOX news and the commander-in-cheeto are lying.

Has it ever occurred to you that they might be the actual liars?

*CaliLiberal sat dumbfounded for a second, then started to reply but was interuppted before he could start by BREAKING NEWS flashing on the screen. A thin blonde female comes on the screen and announces that President Trump plans to announce an end to the ‘Deferred Actions for Childhood Arrivals’ policy commonly called DACA*

Hell yeah! Right on Mister President. Wow. America First! Am I right CaliLiberal?

OK HOLD IT RIGHT THERE CALICONSERVATIVE! How dare you?! How dare that fascist cheeto!?!? You think you can just slam the door shut on those less fortunate than you?! RACIST!

I always knew you wingnuts were complete racists, every Republican is a racist that hates every single immigrant. Thank Gaia she flooded your racist Texas, that is what they get for voting for Trump!

My heart only goes out to poor Dreamers who are stuck in that area and suffering under the man-made Climate Change caused by racist hurricane Harvey.

I really can’t believe Drumpf is getting rid of DACA! I am so dismayed, disillusioned, and incredibly sad right now, I literally cannot stop crying. I just want to go out and hug a Dreamer, of course I can’t because they don’t live anywhere near my community.

You see CaliConservative? This is just one more step in the direction of Trumps Final Solution to deport all Mexicans. Including you. 

CaliLiberal, you….you….you moron. *CaliConservative rubs his palms across his face in frustration* the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals act, and it’s sister law the Deferred Action for Parents of Americans & Lawful Permanent Residents are some of the most sinister executive orders signed in recent memory.

The purpose of these policies was to fundamentally change the demographics of the United States, not just on an ethnic level. The ethnicity/race of the people is simply being used as cover to make them vote for the Democratic party.

By painting the Republican party as the evil racists that want to send them back. When in fact only illegal immigration has ever been the target of any of these immigration laws passed.

People who are not children are taking advantage of a law that was said to protect children. The loophole is that it extends to everyone that came here as a child. So someone that has been here for years and is no longer a child could take advantage of the law.

So? Everyone has a right to come here! Except more evil White people of course. Yes, that includes White Mexicans as well. This nation was built on immigrants and all the people of the world should move here so we can build the perfect socialist society with all of them.

 Ummm. How high are you right now?

Pretty damn high.

Yeah I had a feeling you might be.

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