Happy Birthday Donald J. Trump!

HappyBdayI won’t make this a long winded article, and I don’t think I need to do any in-depth research into this subject.

Unless there is a conspiracy theory that Trump was in-fact a product of a military experiment related to a Soviet Cold War cloning program. The Russians in fact created Donald Trump in an underground lab in Siberia right after the war ended to infiltrate and eventually takeover the USA. Genius, well played Putin.


Is that a real conspiracy? No? Too bad, it’s a hell of a lot more exciting than this crap about Putin somehow in some inexplicable way tried to, but apparently failed, to hack the US election. But Trump still won anyway? But Hillary won the popular vote?

*CaliConservative faints trying to figure out ‘Liberal Logic’…he awakens suddenly a few minutes later to water being splashed in his face*

What the…CaliLiberal? What are you doing here?

I had a strange feeling that you were somehow hurt, my Liberal intuition, similar to Native American intuition, but I am not culturally appropriating it. I somehow felt that you, my dear friend CaliConservative, may be in some type of danger.

Even though we have our differences CaliCon, I still love your soul and who you are as a human being. Despite you being a racist, fascist, xenophobe who worships the orange demagogue, I still love and care for you. #LoveTrumpsHate

You need to borrow money don’t you?

Twenty bucks oughta cover it, I just need to pick up my prescription.

You mean your medical marijuana? No I will not fund your habit.

Hey! I have PTSD OK!!

Oh I am sorry, I didn’t know you were in the service–

Ewww! No! Never why would I ever be part of that genocidal murderous mysogynistic military! Bunch of baby killers fighting for oil companies!

Hey watch your mouth! You better respect the people that fight and die for you. Just because they fight and die for your right to say something completely asinine doesn’t mean you have to say it! So what gave you PTSD anyway?

Having to listen to your racist, xenophobic, fascist, right-wing hate speech gave me severe PTSD!

Are you serious?! Real warriors, and people that are victims of real assault have PTSD, and snowflakes like you that can’t handle free speech make light of serious disorders.

You think that you are allowed to mock kill the President and slander our great military. Yet you don’t think I can say that illegal immigration is a bad thing or that there are radical Islamist’s that want to kill us?


ISLAMOPHOBE! RACIST! Why did I even come over here to save your life?!

You came over here to mooch twenty dollars off me so you can go buy a special brownie, a bag of Funyuns and a Mountain Dew!

I don’t have a problem with people who smoke weed, but when you abuse it you give it a bad name for any people out there that use it responsibly or really need it for medical purposes.

Shut up you stupid fascist! You are lucky I don’t have my antifa buddies with me to knock you out.

That is it get the hell out of my house! You are not welcome here with your backwards socialist ideas and disgusting double standards. I am trying to celebrate a great day, it is Trumps birthday today!

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!? You are a person of color happy about the birthday of the racist commander-in-cheeto?! You know he wants to throw all Hispanics into concentration camps right? I read it on the OccupyDemocrats Facebook page.

Of course I can be happy about Trumps birthday! He is a great President so far that truly does care about the people, it’s truly glorious! He is putting the American people first! Getting rid of horrible deals like the “Paris Climate Accords”.

Oh you mean when Trump cancelled the climate? You realize the Paris Accords were the only thing holding the planet together, we could all burn up and die now unless we send money to Al Gore and Bernie Sanders.

I think Trump is an amazing President so far, not without his faults of course, he is just a man, but he is a damn inspiring man. Trump didn’t have to do any of this, especially not for ungrateful little maggots like you CaliLib.


He didn’t have to run for President, he didn’t have to put his glamorous life on hold. He easily could have retired and enjoyed the rest of his life in pure comfort.

Instead he chose to stand right in the center of American politics. Knowing full well how vicious and utterly disgusting the political world can get sometimes, and boy did he get the full fury of just about every single media outlet viciously going after him and his family.

They continue to be vicious, despite losing whatever bit of integrity they had left. The victory of Donald J. Trump over Hillary Clinton may very well go down as the beginning of the end of the Democratic Party.haha11.png

Because rather than focus on why they lost, the Democratic party has doubled down on the policies that caused them to lose in the first place. It is like a slow moving trainwreck, there is nothing we can do to stop it, and get ready for things to get worse before they get better.

Although the 2018 midterms are right around the corner, it’s going to be a long haul between now and then, we will see how low the Democratic party can go.


Anyways I have gotten completely off track. I want to thank President Trump, sincerely from the bottom of my heart for doing what he is doing. May he continue to be the greatest President since Reagan and may he live many more years to come.

*CaliLiberal, more triggered than ever, scoffs and storms out*

Happy Birthday Mr. President.

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