*CaliLiberal and CaliConservative are sitting at a politically themed bar called the ‘Capitol Still’ waiting for the James Comey testimony to begin. The place was buzzing with excited Liberals, murmurs of ‘Russia’ and ‘Trump’ could be heard all around*
OH WOW! I haven’t been this excited in so long! Since the day before the election actually when I was positive my babygirl Hillary would beat that foul-mouthed orange. Now we finally are going to get the real truth about Russia and Trump!
I have a feeling you are going to be thoroughly disappointed by the end of this. I have been telling you for months that there is absolutely no Russia information, and even if there was Comey would be the last person to tell you. Right before he was fired he was set to expand the Russia probe—
And Trump fired him because he knew Comey was finally getting close to the truth!
No, actually Comey expanding the Russia probe simply meant that he had already investigated every single one of the main leads they had. Basically he didn’t find any evidence at all. He wanted to find evidence so bad he even admitting using a fake dossier to get the FBI to investigate.
That dossier was NOT FAKE! That was reported by Buzzfeed news and confirmed by CNN. Since Comey was using it also tells me it was real! But I don’t need a document to tell me the commander in cheeto likes being peed on and has sex with his daughter!
You are seriously disgusting, what is wrong with you?! Why do you believe crap like that seriously its vile, destructive, poisonous, but I guess it’s just part of the Liberal mentality. You call Trump a demagogue so that it can excuse the insane behavior of the feral Left.
Shut up CaliCon, before I tell everyone in this bar you are a fascist right wing trump supporter, they would tear you limb from limb before you could say wage gap.
*A very petite feminine man walks by and winks at CaliConservative*
Yeah I am not too worried about that. These people have probably never seen an actual man before. I am actually the strange in here for being straight. I should have known better than to come to a bar in West Hollywood.
There you go being homophobic again. This is Trumps America everyone, he inspires so much hate. He is lucky he isn’t right in front of me I would give Trump such a grabbing that orange juice would come out his—–Oh wait it’s starting shut up CaliCon
Im not even saying anything!
Keep it that way!
*A quiet hush comes over the excited crowd in the bar. On the television screen, James Comey, former FBI director, walks out and sits in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee. The crowd erupts into applause.*
We love you Comey! Expose the Cheeto!
*CaliConservative sits begrudgingly*
Don’t get too excited morons. *He says under his breath*
What was that CaliCon?
I said good get excited, go on.
*James Comey sat and began to speak, the crowd stayed excitedly silent*
*A quiet somber deafening silence fell over the crowd. They were unable to speak, unable to form a thought, total emotional shock set in as they realized that yet again CNN had over hyped and outright lied about how much Comey knew, and how untruthful he actually was*
*The testimony ended, the Liberal crowd, utterly silent….The WashingtonPost anchors come on the screen. Suspiciously jubilant considering the news*
*“Wow what a great testimony from Former FBI director James Comey, calling Trump a liar and absolutely hammering the President into the ground, confirming here today that the President is a liar, right Charles?” a vapid blonde said.
*”That’s right Melinda. James Comey absolutely leveling President Trump, slamming the President into the ground where he belongs. Confirming the President did indeed lie as we have continually told our readers. I want to go to Amber Phillips. Amber you already have a “7 takeaways from Comey’s testimony”. the pompous obviously Liberal anchor said*
*”Thank you Charles, thank you Melinda. Yes obviously my top takeaway from this hearing is that Trump is a liar. It is confirmed, we have confirmed it with CNN and Buzzfeed news…..”*
*The crowd gained some electricity back. ‘Yeah Trump is a liar!’…’Orange Liar!’…’Kill Trump!’…*
*The crowd falls silent again*
Comey literally just admitted to leaking private information and he admitted that the President of the United States is NOT under investigation! You saw it yourself, heard it yourself, felt it yourself!
Then you let a bunch of pompous Progressives on TV brainwash you into thinking otherwise! Why?! Trump is liar? What in the hell did he lie about?! Comey is the damn liar he belongs in prison! Along with Hillary! I can’t believe you people fall for this!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PEOPLE! *The crowd collectively roared*
Back you Liberal Progressive atheists! Back I said!
*CaliConservative brings out a Bible, a Reagan photo, and a gun license(the mere thought of legal gun ownership scares the hell out of them)*
*CaliConservative breaks for the door, but it’s blocked by ravenous Libs. He starts aggressively reading passages from the Bible. The Liberals begin to sizzle and melt like a vampire being hit with direct sunlight. A few Feral Libs comes very close*
Back you blasted Liberal Progressive Fascists!
*CaliConservative stumbles backward, but luckily tumbles out of the bar and starts running for his life*
I gotta get out of California soon. Thank God Trump is turning this around. Thank God he fired the incompetent weak, pathetic Comey. Trump was so right about this guy, he lied about having information that Trump colluded with Russia.
He fell totally flat, and admitted that Trump was not being investigated by the FBI. Over all today was a total win for Trump and his supporters, make no mistake about it. Lib media is scrambling to keep their feral supporters in line, but ultimately they will fail.
*CaliConservative says while running off, the sound of Feral Libs eating each other trailed off into the distance*