The Right Fights Back: Berkeley Edition.
How dare you CaliConservative!? It’s me, your archenemy, intellectual superior, caring, compassionate and extremely tolerant CaliLiberal. I actually went to Berkeley, it’s my Alma mater. That’s where I triple-majored in Gender Studies, LGBT studies(Yes, that’s different from Gender Studies you bigot!), and Social Welfare. I am still currently enrolled trying to major in my real passion, Journalism.
My dream is to have a job at MSNBC or the Huffington Post, or Gaia willing a job at the New York Times! I can then finally use a major media platform to help spread the message of social justice, Marx would be so proud of me! I can spit on your puny little blog from my elevated position with people that actually matter like Anderson Cooper or Rachel Maddow.
It doesn’t matter if you listen to me or not! I am not after hardcore wingnuts like you, you’re a lost cause, I am after the offspring and younger siblings! We already have a hold on them through our media platform, using cartoons and sitcoms to brainwash your kids and you can’t stop us!
That’s why we need to ban home schooling. We are the only qualified ones to make sure your children are raised the right, or better yet, the left way! We’ll make sure they don’t join up with fascist capitalist protests that are taking place right outside my very school, thank Gaia this is a safe space!
How dare you capitalist fascist pigs! Just who the hell do you guys think you are? Where are your fancy degrees? Where is your virtue signaling? What do you guys even stand for? America? That old place?! America was founded by old White males that did slavery!
Them(White people), I understand, but you CaliConservative you are a person of color! A minority! You are supposed to be oppressed. Does White Privilege mean nothing to you?! Don’t you believe in equality? And by “equality” of course I mean we enslave all Whites and make them pay for their internalized systemic oppression!
You’re probably just a self-hating wannabe White person. You’re obviously uneducated, otherwise you wouldn’t be a Trump supporter, and you’re obviously dumb, probably poor, and need my help since you are a minority that has been oppressed by Whites! Thank Gaia you have me right?
We dispatched a battalion of our best Thought Police when we heard you guys were organizing a “Patriots Day” rally(might as well call it Nazi Day)! They were one of our best divisions, part of our MPCR(Mobile Political Correctness Response) team. They were known as the “Nineteen Eighty For Equality” division. They were highly specialized in thought control.
However, they weren’t trained to defend themselves! You guys weren’t supposed to fight back, you guys were supposed to be outnumbered! That is why you only see our kind in areas highly populated by Progressives. We only fight when it’s ten against one, how dare you even the odds!
You guys may have won this exchange, but we will be back! We are the virus that never dies, the sickness that never cures, the fart that never dissipates. We will fix America! And by “fix” of course I mean tear it down and build a new socialist utopia on it’s ashes!
Gaia has foretold it and I had a vision of the new utopia during the last drum circle/vigil we held for the brave ISIS victims of Trumps horrendous MOAB strike. Actually that vision may have been the LSD that I took, anyways #RESIST
Woah, what is happening here? Damnit, CaliLiberal not you again! I just finally got the stench of EBT cards and marijuana out of my apartment from the last time you broke in here, wait what the hell is that behind you? You brought refugees with you?! INTO MY HOME?! Does this look like Paris to you? Oh you did it this time!!
*CaliConservative breaks open a small glass box on the wall, inside is a big red button, he presses it*
*The bookcase sinks into the wall, smoke and fog emerging from it’s edges. An autonomous, fully lifelike Donald Trump robot emerges and starts to walk towards CaliLiberal with a hand held low, yet extended, in a grabbing motion*
You know what to do Donnie! GET ‘EM OUT!
*Autonomous Trump begins deporting at will*
Today a “Patriots Day” rally was scheduled to be held near the Berkeley Campus in California. Hundreds of patriots showed up simply to voice their nationalism, support for Trump and America. It was just supposed to be a simple picnic, it was supposed to be calm and peaceful, but this is Commufornia after all.
In what I have dubbed the “Berkeley Kerfuffle” #BerkeleyKerfuffle, hundreds of anti-Trumpers gathered to counter-rally against the Patriots. Though they may have bitten off more than they could chew this time. This was the third clash at the Berkeley campus in just a few months between Trump Supporter Patriots and cry baby terrorist Liberals.
The first two times the Liberals had a slight upper-hand, but this time the Patriots came prepared. Even though they didn’t fully plan on facing off with a bunch of Progressives, they knew they had to be ready for the possibility. Conservatives\Trump supporters have no where safe where they can rally together without possibly having to face some “anti-fascist fascists”.
Reuters said the two rallies were “competing rallies”, but no, the Patriots Day rally was scheduled first, Patriots Day is a real holiday in some parts of the country, and the anti-Trump “rally” was scheduled second. It was simply an attempt to shut down, silence, or intimidate the Patriots, but unlike other times, this time we hit back.
I think sometimes the Right is afraid, definitely not afraid of the Left, they are a bunch of beta-males and feminists, but the Right is more afraid of proving them right. The Left calls us hateful, violent, racist, even though they are much more guilty of that.
They preach tolerance, yet cannot allow us to hold a simple rally voicing our support for our President and military. They preach peace, yet continually resort to violence as a means to an end. They call us racist, yet they create a system of dependence for minorities that acts as a sort of modern slavery.
So I am glad we finally punched back, I am glad we don’t care if they call us racists anymore, I am glad we don’t pander to their silly notions of tolerance. Because no matter what we do, they will be upset. If we don’t fight back because we don’t like resorting to violence for politics, we like using speech, they call us cowards. If we pander to their “tolerance”, a vice disguised as a virtue, they will still say we aren’t being tolerant enough.
We should never ever be upset when they throw around unsubstantiated claims of racism, because at this point the Left has shouted racism so much that the label has lost all effect. Their buzzwords have lost effect, because we don’t give them power. The Liberal buzzwords i.e. misogyny, xenophobia, racism etc, only work if you let them work.
I am so happy, very proud, and extremely inspired by my fellow patriotic Californians. Though I worry some of the patriots may have came from other states, because we don’t seem to have many here in Cali, but that’s OK because it means we have allies. We are the state of Reagan, and my boy Richard M. Nixon was also born here, we have Conservative blood.
California was founded by Gold Miners, Businessmen, Architects, Builders, Merchants, Farmers, citizens from all across the nation, hard working groups looking for a better life. These were the first Conservatives in California. We were founded on Conservatism, and as California adhered to those principles it became one of the richest states in the Union.
As the Liberals took over, and the promises of utopia and socialism took hold in California, we began to decline. Movie studios took the place of factories, welfare offices and Planned Parenthoods sprang up everywhere. Homelessness took root in the Golden State and undocumented immigrants flooded in.
Now today California has more than ten percent on welfare and we have one of the highest debts in the Union. If ever there was a time to Make Cali Great Again, this is it.